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We round up our picks of the most over-the-top uber-violent iPhone, iPad and Android games you can download right now.
Postal (Android via Amazon Appstore)
Immediately achieving infamy on its PC debut back in the 90s, Running With Scissors’ Postal has basically one goal: kill everyone that isn’t you. You play as an average American joe who flips out one day and goes on a rampage across an entire state, gunning down rednecks, police officers, marching bands, hapless pets and anything else that sucks in air.
The full game has now been recreated for Android, although you’ll need to download it through Amazon’s Appstore as it isn’t on Google Play.
Carmageddon
Download android for windows 7. Another blast from the past, Carmageddon also caused a big stir when it first launched. Perhaps it’s the way the game encourages you to mow down every pedestrian you see, awarding points for smearing grannies across the pavement.
Human bodies burst apart as you drift through them, spattering blood across every surface – and at least it’s proper red blood now, rather than the green crap of the UK PC version.
Dead Trigger 2 (and every other zombie shooter on Google Play and Apple’s App Store)
We can’t be arsed to list every single zombie shooter you can download these days, which frankly would take us several weeks and be tedious to read. So we’ll just give props to the entertaining Dead Trigger 2, which has you perforating all manner of undead beasties as you charge through dozens of levels.
Surgeon Simulator
This strangely comical iOS game is also incredibly violent, forcing you to perform intricate surgical procedures with all manner of inappropriate instruments.
Need a new heart, love? No worries, let’s just lop off your ribs with this axe and then shift these other organs that are getting in the way…whoops, there goes your left lung on the floor. Never mind, I’ll cram that back in later. Here, have another syringe of drugs…ah, sorry, I didn’t mean to jab it into your ear….
The GTA series
This wouldn’t be a respectable round-up of gloriously bloody games without a GTA entry. And as we couldn’t choose just one, we’ve gone with the lot. All of Rockstar’s titles, from Vice City to San Andreas, let you commit hilariously heinous crimes against your fellow man, from clubbing them to death with golf clubs to ramming them through a lamppost with an SUV.
And while GTA: Chinatown Wars’ graphics may be more cartoony than the other entries, it’s still stupendously violent, allowing you to crush and blow up your foes by any means possible.
Dead Space
The mobile version of Dead Space might suffer from shonky controls, but it’s still just as blood-soaked as the console versions. There’s nary a room or corridor where you don’t trip up over mangled corpses, while weapons like the plasma saw deal out glorious bloody retribution to the spiky-limbed antagonists.
The Walking Dead
Also featured in our favourite horror games round-up, Telltale’s The Walking Dead games are truly horrifying throughout. Stand-out moments include a former friend crawling into the room missing his legs and a character having his face smashed into pulp in a horribly drawn-out and super-intense scene.
And unlike many of the games here, which have cartoony over-the-top violence that you instantly forget when you turn your phone or tablet off, Walking Dead’s brief bursts of horror will linger with you for weeks. That’s despite the cel-shaded animation lending a comic-style vibe to proceedings.
Read next: The iOS/Android games that f*ck with your head
Got your own uber-violent bloody favourites? Let us know in the comments below.
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